Shadows
Author's
Note
The setting inspiration came
from “Mire” and it being a sort of synonym for swamp. I'm a Louisiana girl and
I immediately went there, even though it isn't stated in the short, it is set
in Louisiana. With a stretcher being part of a row boat I had the inspiration
for it to be set out on a boat for whatever reason and a lot of inspiration
flowed from those two words.
I'll admit that I might be slightly in love with
dystopian worlds, it fascinates me to no end how a world can so quickly and
drastically be changed in so many ways. I also love the freedom of being able
to make up my own rules and not be confined by those of current day or those of
past. I had a vague idea of this basically being our world in the not too
distant future, but something has gone wrong and land isn't safe anymore due to
some sort of creature. I sat down with my sister and she had this idea for
these shadow monsters which aren't really shadows, but actual tangible beings
that live in the shadows and blend in quite well. They are also afraid of the
water, which is where the boat came into play.
Something the characters don't
realize though, is that it's not water, just large bodies of it. These
creatures can't swim well and that's why it's safe out on a boat.
That is, they were until now.
These “Shadows” weren't
based on anything but the imagination of my sister who was more than glad to
lend her mind to me.
The stuff about the kids
being targeted came into play from a writing prompt I came across one night;
“All the boys in a village disappear” I toyed with the idea and used it as a
springboard until it felt right.
This is a story I'm planning
on revisiting in the future, whether it's for fun or a full length novel.
I also have a wickedly
glorious love of cliff hangers and so I do leave it at a slight cliffy. It was
mostly because I wanted to leave a lot to the imagination and let y'all (the
readers) decide how you think things go from there.
(Bonus note: If any of you
are interested, Kat is short for Kathryn. :) )
Not long ago I
would have thought it beautiful, watching the sun set over the lake. Today the
only thought running through my mind is that I took too long on my run.
I’ve become accustomed to rowing
this little boat, my feet firmly against the stretcher as I pull the ores against the water. It’s methodical
repetition that helps me to ignore the sounds of day being replaced with those
of the night.
When I come up alongside the boat I
let out a whistle. It’s a simple melody, a song that both Zach and I know and
we taught the kids. It helps us make sure there aren't any strangers trying to
sneak on before we even see them.
The cables are thrown over the side
and excited voices chatter as little heads peek over the edge of the boat. The
boat is a larger one of the fishing variety. It has enough room for all of us,
though it can feel a bit cramped when everyone is in one place. Though it’s not
so small that someone can board it without us knowing about it first.
I hook the cables to each end of the
boat and wait as the wheel jerkily reels me up. I frown at the side of the boat
where we painted onto the side. The kids insisted we name the ship The Nomad after Lewis called us nomad’s
one day and explained what it meant. “We need to freshen up the paint down
there.” I stand as the little row boat comes level with the deck. If this
qualifies as a proper deck.
“What did you find?” Gabby is the first to speak, as always. Her eyes
lighting up as she stares at the lumpy tarp. It stands as proof that I found
something on my run. She and Lewis stand side by side, almost touching. I
always thought that those stories about twins being inseparable were silly.
Until I met those two, they won’t leave each other’s sight. Though it makes
sense these days.
Zach stands back, his arms crossed
over his chest as he watches, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“A few things.” I smirk as I stick a hand under the tarp.
“What is it?” Cody is becoming impatient with my antics. “Ginger ale!” I pull out the cardboard
box full of green cans. The kids collectively gasp and start squealing and
chattering excitedly.
“I haven’t had a soda in years!” Mia might be exaggerating a little
bit.
“One is missing.” Lewis looks at me and I shrug, “Someone had to make
sure they weren’t poisoned.”
Zach helps me unload as the sound of
soda cans popping open fills the air. “You pushed it.” He speaks so that only I
can hear as I hand him the fuel I found for the boat.
“I know.” I say looking out at the lake. The sun is gone, but there’s
still some light left. “I had a lot to haul.” Between clothes, fuel, ginger
ale, weapons and ammo, and finding some meat to hunt for dinner, it took longer
than I had anticipated. I grab his hand and jump onto the deck with a thud.
A screech pierces the quiet lake.
It’s a shrill sound that makes me feel cold and every hair on my body stands on
its end. The kids’ chatter has died completely and we all stare at the water’s
edge. I swear I can see them moving in the trees, but it can be so hard to tell
when you’re seeing a Shadow. They blend in so well after all.
“Let’s not cut it so close next time, okay?” Zach is always worried
about me. I push things a bit farther than he does, but he has a right to
worry. I worry about him when he’s the one out there. I did cut it too close
today, if I had only been a few more minutes I’d be toast.
“Yeah.” I mumble.
***
We sit around
the fire pit we built on the deck, munching on the game I shot earlier.
The row boat hangs aloft beside the Nomad, hanging above
the water and swaying gently in the wind.
“Kat?” Cody stares at the meat in his hands intently, turning it
slowly.
“Yeah?” I take a bite of mine.
“Can you teach me to hunt?” He looks up at me
with expectant eyes.
I glance at Zach. His lips are
puckered as he leans down and rubs his fingers on the wooden floorboards.
Admiring the amazing carpentry, no doubt. He always does that in uncomfortable
situations.
“You know it’s not safe for you on land.” I speak carefully. I don’t
want to hurt Cody, but he knows the reality of our lives these days. Land isn’t
safe. Especially not for those fourteen and under. And he’s only just turned
fourteen.
“But how can I ever learn how to protect myself if I never have any
experience?”
I sigh and chuck my bone off the
side of the boat, “Cody, it’s dangerous.” I wipe my hands on my pants and look
at him. I don’t want to scare the younger kids. Sabrina is especially sensitive
on such matters. She watched a gang of Shadows murder her family. She’s only
six but she managed to escape. She has more reason than anyone to be scared to
death of them. In truth, we’re all scared of them.
Except Cody.
He possesses a dangerous bravery
that borderlines ignorant stupidity. There’s been a raging fire inside of him
since the foster family he was living with died because of this mess of a
world. He wasn’t there to witness it like Sabrina, though. He doesn’t
understand the real dangers and he hungers for revenge. Though Cody insists
it’s justice. Zach and I worry he’s
going to get himself, or someone else, hurt one day. We’ve talked about him
many times and we both agree; we have to keep Cody on this boat for as long as
we can.
I open my mouth to answer but I stop
as a strange noise calls through the darkness. It’s a deep throated sound,
reminiscent of an alligator call.
“What is that?” I stand and walk toward the
edge of the ship. All other noises have vanished. Frogs, cicadas, crickets.
Even the owls are silent. The only sounds are that of the breeze and the water
gently swishing to and fro, which seems deafeningly loud in the absence of the
odd call.
I stare out at the water, the sky is
overcast tonight, leaving it too dark to make out anything.
Zach comes beside me and switches on
the flood light. We rarely use it in an effort to conserve its power, and most times
I would tell him not to worry about it, but I've never heard an animal like
that, and I'm very familiar with animal calls.
“Ever heard that before?” I ask under my breath so that the kids can’t
hear.
“No.” He shakes his
head. “Do you think it could be-”
“There!” Gabby shrieks and wraps her arms around my waist. Zach jerks
the light back and there it is. Perched atop a raft, with a long, flat piece of
wood as of replacement for an ore in its long hands. Its body is slender but
very large. It’s the kind of slender that makes it better fitted for speed. It
gnashes rows of long teeth that come to sharp, ragged ends that glint starkly
white against its dark body. Its eyes are black beads that are only visible
because of the light bouncing off of them, reveling a hungry glint.
“Kat.” Zach’s voice is barely a whisper. I have no words to respond
with. Shadows don’t come out on water. We don’t know why, but they don’t like
water. Maybe they’re adapting, maybe this one is just desperate for a child to
eat. At least that’s what I think they do with the children they steal. They
never eat the adults, they will brutally kill them, but they don’t eat them.
I’ve wondered if the slaughtering of adults is a scare tactic. They’ve proven
to be intelligent enough creatures on more than on occasion to have those sort
of tactics.
“What is it doing out this far?” Mia’s voice is steady and low. I stand
still as Zach rustles beside me. I worry that the moment I move it will move.
It’s a stare down into its hideous eyes, the second I look away it will be an
act of submission or weakness.
“Mia, hold this for me, will you?” Zach asks. She’s only twelve, but
she’s one of the bravest souls here. She takes the light and holds it high.
“It’s not moving.” She says after a few seconds.
The creature opens its mouth and
that odd, almost roaring sound echoes toward us again.
Zach shoves a rifle into my hands,
but I keep my eyes on the creature. “Why would it be out here all alone?” I
whisper to him.
“What?” He’s rustling through something.
“They don’t travel alone, remember?” I say.
“They’re like wolves, always traveling in packs.” It’s something we learned
over time. If you see one Shadow it means that there is at least one more close
by.
He stands up and looks at me, “Maybe
it’s a reject. Wolves do that, don’t they?”
“I don’t-” Darkness fills my vision and I’m shoved to the ground by
something heavy.
A scream pierces the air as I slam
onto the deck. My head slaps back against the floor. Every wisp of air is
shoved from my lungs with the impact. Shouts fill the air around me, matched by
shrill, animal squeals.
My head is warm as I stand and my
vision is fuzzy. Zach is shoving the kids into the door to go below deck and
shouting something at me. I grab my rifle and shoot for the first dark shape I
see. It moves at a lightning speed, barely illuminated by our glowing
firelight. They thrive in the darkness. It’s our greatest weakness.
A screech fills the air, but it’s
not human, and it’s not the hungry one we heard at dusk either. It’s pain. I
shot one.
Vicious snarls and growls assault me
from all angles. It isn’t the Shadow that I see coming at me, but its teeth.
The gun flies from my hands and pain
shoots through my arm like an electric wave. A gun goes off and the creature pulls
back with another pained scream, its eye gleaming with fury.
Mia stands, feet braced apart and
her hands shaking, a pistol held high. The pressure of the body on top of me
disappears and everything in me screams. “Mia, run!” I shout as I jump to my feet.
Something crashes into me and I slam
onto the floor again.
I push myself to my feet as Mia’s
terrified scream rings out in the silent night like an alarm. A dark arm is
wrapped around her waist, pulling her toward the edge of the ship faster than I
can think.
“Mia!” Zach runs past me and I follow closely on his heels. We reach
the edge of the ship and all we can hear are Mia’s screams becoming more and
more distant in the dark night.
“Mia!” Zach shouts at the loudest volume I’ve ever heard him use. He
starts to lunge himself off the edge of the ship and I grab his arm. “We
can’t!” I say, pulling as he struggles against my grip.
“I’m not leaving her!” He turns and shouts in my face. “And you’ll
leave them?” I shout back, waving my arm toward the door he ushered the kids
into. “They’re still here and they’re
trusting us to protect them.”
“And Mia isn’t?” He snaps. “One of us has to go after her!”
“You know as well as I do that we won’t see her again.” I lower my
voice, I don’t want the kids to hear.
“You’re giving up just like that?” Zach’s face is tight and his voice
quivers. “We can find her!”
“And what good will it do Mia if you throw yourself over the edge of
this ship and go running right into Shadow territory? You wouldn’t be on land for
two seconds before they were on you.”
His chest rises and falls with heavy
breaths, his dark eyes piercing mine with a fury. I don’t know if the anger is
because of me or because of the situation, but I can’t let him be stupidly
impulsive and endanger his life or the kids. I can’t take care of them by
myself.
“We need you here.” I whisper harshly. “These kids need you. I need
you.”
“Mia needs us.” He whispers back, but the shouting is gone. The anger
is replaced with an exhaustion. His shoulders slump and his mouth drops into a
frown, his eyes quickly becoming glassy.
“We’ll look for her tomorrow.” I set a hand on his shoulder. “We aren’t
going to just abandon her. But we have to be smart about this. Besides,” I look
out into the darkness. I can’t hear Mia's screaming anymore. “We can’t stay
here anymore.”
***
I stare at the
door, rifle in hand. We barricaded ourselves into the only room with no other
entry ways. Not even a window. Zach woke me up a few hours ago to keep watch
while he sleeps. Sabrina is curled up in his lap.
The flood light sits in the corner,
pointed at the ceiling to distribute its light. It works well, but nothing will
compare to daylight. My watch says it’s after seven AM. I set to a rough
estimate of what I guessed the time was, but the sun should be risen by now. I
just want the kids to get enough rest for the long journey.
“Is it early enough?” I glance at Cody. He was shifting a lot and I
wondered if he was awake. “I don’t know.” I answer. “But I want them
to get enough rest.”
“We should get started as early as possible.”
“I know.” I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Mia. Zach and I
didn’t put it all together until late into the night. The first Shadow, the one
calling out in the water, was only a diversion. These things are smart, maybe
smarter than us. I don’t even know how they got away so quickly.
Cody dozes back to sleep while I
wait for a half hour to tick by. I get to my feet and crouch in front of Zach,
reaching out to tap him. He wakes with a sharp breath, “What’s wrong?” He sits
up straight, making Sabrina stir.
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “It’s just getting late, we need to move.”
He nods and I wake up the twins,
then Cody.
A few minutes later Zach holds the
door handle and looks at me. “Ready?” He asks.
I nod, readying my finger on the
trigger of my rifle for anything that may be on the other side. It scares me
some days how natural this has
become for us, carrying weapons everywhere and checking dark corners for
monsters.
Zach swings the door open and steps
out into the hallway. I see light, so the sun has risen at least. But that
doesn’t mean a Shadow couldn’t be hiding somewhere, which is what Zach is
looking for, and why I’m still here guarding the kids.
“All good.” He shouts back at us. I pick up a sleepy Sabrina and
balance her on my hip, the other three following me down the hallway. I still
find myself peeking in the doors, double checking, but everything seems safe.
They got what they wanted last night.
The sunlight is bright and brings
attention to the throbbing in my
head. There’s a lump back there and Lewis keeps fussing about a concussion.
Zach sits on the deck, a map rolled
out in front of him. “They took her that way.” He points south.
I sit down next to him, pulling
Sabrina closer. He has to know we can’t get Mia back. At least not without
risking the other four kids that we've managed to keep alive this long. He’s
too emotional for me to just say that, though. He’ll blow up and then we’ll
never get anything done.
“We need to get off the lake.” I say. “They’re figuring out ways
through the water which makes us sitting ducks in a cage.” I look at the map,
we aren’t far from the coast. “If we stick to open roads I’m sure we could get
to the coast before dark.” I tap the ocean. It’s our best bet.
“What about Mia?” Gabby looks from me to Zach. He and I don’t disagree
often, but this will definitely be one of those times.
“Mia’s gone.” Cody says. “We all know that. Going after her will be
useless and just get more people killed.”
Sabrina buries her face in my
shoulder and I think she might be crying.
“The way they took her is in the direction we’ll have to go to get to
the coast.” Lewis inspects the map closely. “We can keep to the water by
traveling through the mire.”
“The what?” Gabby stares at him.
“It’s a synonym for swamp.” He says,
still looking at the map. Gabby sighs and rolls her eyes, “Why can’t you talk
like a normal nine year old?”
“Because I refuse to stoop to their level of intelligence.” He shrugs.
“We have to travel on land.” Zach says quietly. “Open roads with plenty
of light.” His eyebrows are pulled closely together and he’s puckering his lips
again.
“That’s what you said,
right?” He looks at me.
I nod, hugging Sabrina close. I
think Zach is accepting that we can’t go after Mia. If we were to find her, and
if she were still alive, she would be in the middle of gang of Shadows. We can
barely fend off one. Surviving an entire nest of them would be an incredible,
but extremely unrealistic, feat. Mia
is gone and going after her would be useless. I want to go after her, to hunt
down those Shadows and find her. But in all honesty, I don’t think she would
want us to risk coming after her.
“We pack light.” I stand up, Sabrina still in my arms. “Necessities only.”
“What do we do when we get to the coast?” Lewis always wants concrete
plans.
Zach sighs, “We’ll figure it out
when we get there.”
***
Zach shuts off
the boat’s motor, letting us drift into the dock. I keep my eyes on the trees.
We found the brightest and most open dock we could, I just hope it’s open and
bright enough.
I hop down to the dock, Cody
following suit. We help Lewis and Gabby down and Zach jumps down with Sabrina
hanging onto his back.
My backpack is heavier than the
others. Zach and I didn’t want to make the kids carry too much, and we’re used
to carrying more because of our runs. Sabrina is still so young that Zach keeps
her on his back, so I took most of the heavy supplies.
We follow the road, Lewis telling us
which directions to take to get to the coast. None of the kids have mentioned
Mia for the past hour of walking and I think they’ve resigned themselves to the
fact that we won’t be seeing her again. They would of had to come to terms with
it eventually, but they’re learning to cope too quickly. At such young,
influential ages being in this environment, being so used to death, I worry
they’re going to become hard. I worry Cody already is. Zach and I have over
twenty years of memory before everything went dark, but they’re just kids. Kids
who had been living hard lives and then had them become that much harder.
Sabrina sleeps on Zach’s back and I
know he must be tired, but I let him carry her. They have an unusual bond,
always comforting each other only with their presence. As tired as he may get,
it will be far easier for him to have her close.
“I’m hungry.” Gabby breaks the long silence. I glance at my clock, it’s
two already. We’ve been walking for hours and we only ate a light breakfast.
“Let’s take a quick break.” Zach says.
He fishes into bags and pulls out
some cans of food and sits on the road with the kids. As hot and tired as I am,
I can’t sit. We’re getting close, maybe another few more hours of walking and
we’ll be able to see the ocean. I don’t like sitting still, not when I’m on my
own, and especially not when I’m on land with a group of kids.
Birds fly from trees to telephone
lines. They usually become quiet and restless like this when Shadows are
nearby. They should be chirping and hiding from the summer heat, but they sit
in the sunlight, some bathing in puddles to cool off.
I try and look through windows of
nearby buildings as best as I can from here. Shadows wouldn’t dare attack in
the sunlight. They never do.
“Aren’t you going to eat, Kat?” Gabby’s voice is muffled by her full
mouth of canned fruit. “I’m not hungry.” I smile at her, I don’t want to let on
that Shadows are nearby. They’re probably following us, waiting for us to make
a mistake so they can attack.
Zach only glances at me for a
second, but it’s all I need. We’ve gotten used to having to communicate with
nothing but eye contact. He gives me the slightest nod and tosses me a water
bottle.
He spends the next few minutes
reminding the kids to hurry up and eat so we can get moving. My water is hot
and not very satisfying, I only take a few sips.
Branches in the woods start cracking
and breaking. A flock of birds fly from a tree, moving quickly to get away from
whatever danger lies within their home.
I peer between the trees. Dark
shapes move in the shade. I think I see a head poking out from behind a tree,
watching us from its shaded haven, but it can be so hard to be certain. “Let’s
go.” I glance back and Zach is already standing, hauling Sabrina on his back.
The day becomes hotter as it gets later,
the heat radiating off of the concrete making it even more unbearable.
When we hit the interstate,
abandoned cars lining it, the kids start behaving uncomfortably. Forest lines
both sides of us, we have no escape if something goes wrong. But we never
really did.
Another hour goes by and it’s almost
five in the afternoon. “How close are we, Lewis?” I ask. We still have a few
hours until sunset, but we also have to account in time for finding a boat to
get into the water. And how we’ll survive in the ocean with no land to make
runs to. Are we just going to take the kids out to sea so they can slowly die
from dehydration?
“A few miles…” He’s barely stopped looking at the map. It’s as if he’s
trying to distract himself. I’m glad he has something to distract himself with.
I wish I could give the others a distraction. Gabby’s not even talking. On any
other day we would call it a miracle, but I think she’s scared and missing Mia.
They were almost as close as she and Lewis are.
“How are you doing?” I ask Cody, matching his stride, but placing
myself between him and the tree line. He’s been drifting too close and I worry
it’s intentional.
“Hot, tired.” He shrugs. “But we all are.”
“Anything you want to talk about?” I give him a pointed look. If he is intentionally
wandering toward the forest it’s a stupid plan. He’s unarmed and wouldn’t last.
“No.” He looks straight in my eyes. That was his mistake because I know
he’s lying. Maybe he’s just thinking about Mia, though. He could be missing her
like the rest of us. I hope that it’s only a matter of him not wanting to talk
about her and not him planning a suicide mission.
***
“We’re here!” Lewis beams proudly, looking
ahead at the ocean. We can see it, but we still have about a mile to walk
before we actually reach it. And we have to figure out a plan to get out into
the water without dying after a week or two.
A city lies between us and the
shore. So does a storm. The wind is strong and cool and the sun is hidden
behind dark clouds.
“We need to hurry.” Zach says, walking at the front of the group. I
stay at the back so that the kids are in sight at all times. There could be
enough shade that we could be attacked.
Cody kept wandering earlier and Zach
ended up calling him over and they talked about a number of random things. I’m
just happy that Zach noticed.
My sister was a lot like Cody. She
was angry that our family had been killed. When our little brother was taken it
was the last straw for her. She went on a rampage and tried to kill as many
Shadows as she could.
I don’t think she even got one.
Zach is the only one here who knows
about her. He was with me the night she ran off.
The city is full of short, abandoned
buildings that keep the streets bright. Or as bright as they can be with these
clouds.
A warm raindrop falls on my face and
I wipe it away.
It only takes a few moments for the
rain to pour from the sky in a veil that obscures our vision. I make Gabby and
Lewis hold on to my backpack so that I can feel them, and I keep a firm grip on
Cody’s arm. I won’t let him run off and get himself killed and this is the
perfect place for him to do it.
Zach walks only a few steps in front of me, a
soaking wet Sabrina still hanging on his back like a little koala.
I run into Sabrina when Zach stops
suddenly. “What are you doing?” I shout over the noise of the rain.
“Kat, get your gun!” He shouts back.
I grab the rifle slug over my
shoulder and hold it ready. “What is it?” I shout back. If this rain would
quiet down a bit communicating would be much easier.
“Shadow.” He says. I grab Lewis and Gabby to make sure they’re still
there. “They don’t like water!” I shout back. My heart hammers in my chest as I
squint into the gray blind.
“I saw it.” He shouts back.
“We need to run.” Cody shouts. Zach just nods and I make sure Lewis and
Gabby are in front of me, then we start running.
Water splashes as we run through the
streets as fast as we can. Every now and then I see a dark shape darting around
in the rain. This doesn’t make sense. They
don’t like water. Unless it’s just large bodies of water. Maybe they just can’t
swim and water really has no effect on them.
The dark shape comes barreling
toward us through the rain. I shove Gabby and Lewis ahead, out of its path and
the figure crashes into me.
I fall into the wet street, a heavy
body on top of me. Its growling oddly clear and loud through the sound of the
rain that pounds on my face.
Something sharp and stinging
scratches my arm and I shove at the Shadow. I hear shouting, my name, I think.
The Shadow’s face comes closer to
mine, jaw opening widely to show its shining teeth.
I shove at its head, anything to
delay the inevitable. It’s strong, though. Too strong. My arms shake, my
muscles giving way. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to just let it end me right
here, right now. It would be quick. But how can I beg Zach to stay with me and
the kids and then just desert him without a fight?
I keep shoving at the creature’s
face with one hand and grab a knife from my hip with the other. A dark hand wraps
around mine and sharp claws dig into my skin like needles that are on fire.
A muffled bang sounds through the
rain, and the Shadow turns to dead weight, falling on top of me in a limp pile.
Hands yank the dead body off of me
and I take Zach’s hand and let him pull me up.
“Are you okay?” A man I don’t know shouts through the rain. I shove him
back and pull up my rifle. “Who are you?” I shout. “Where is Zach?” I look
around, but I don't see anyone else.
I snap when he doesn't answer.
“Where are they?”
“With my group.” He holds out his hands, “We have a ship. It’s safe!”
“Why should I trust you?”
He sighs and holds his hand up to
shield his face from the water. His lips pucker slightly and whistles a choppy
tune.
I stare at him. “Alright.” I lower
my gun. “Take me to the ship.”
***
“That’s it?” I ask, staring at the tiny
boat at the end of the marina dock. It's even smaller than The Nomad.
“No.” The man shakes his head. “We
have to ride out to the big one.”
We hurry down the dock and a figure
waits beside the ship. Zach.
He squeezes me in a tight hug. “The
kids are fine.” He says loudly, The rain still pounding all around us. “Are you
okay?”
“Yeah.” I nod. Though long scratches run down one arm, and deep gashes
from claws are in my wrist. My head is hurting too. I think I might have hit it
again.
“Good call on the whistle.”
I say.
“I have a few of those every now and then.” He smiles, but it’s not the
one that makes his eyes light up.
The ride on the little boat is rough in the choppy sea. Lewis and
Gabby are curled up beside me, all of us under a blanket. They both keep saying
that I saved their lives, and all I keep thinking about is how Mia isn’t here.
I didn't save her life. We never even looked for her. Maybe we should have, but
we barely made it here alive without any detours.
“You didn’t scream.” The man who killed the Shadow that was attacking
me stares at me curiously.
“I'm sorry?” I ask.
“When they’re about to die,” He
folds his arms. “They always scream.” He turns around, a grim expression
plastered on his face.
The ones I’ve known that died by the
Shadows do scream, I always remember the screams. It’s why I told myself
that if it came down to a Shadow killing me I wouldn't scream. My sister’s
screams were the last time I ever heard her voice. I don’t want Zach or the
kids to live with that being their last memory of me; screaming for a life that
I’ve already lost.
I stare at the man’s back.
His people supposedly live on a
large cargo ship with their own little community. They make occasional runs to
shore to get what they need and pick up any people who might be looking for
safety. But they have an enormous stock pile of goods. The man says it was a
miracle they were on land when we were attacked by that Shadow, but I hardly
believe in miracles these days. Something doesn’t feel quite right about it,
but then how could they have known we would be there? And what could they even
want with us? Maybe it was a miracle. I don’t trust these people yet,
and neither does Zach. Maybe over time we'll come to trust. But for now Zach
says they’re our only shot, and he's right.
I just hope it’s the right shot.
Copyright© 2014 by Caroline Keeth
I really enjoyed this story, the whole feel kept was desolate and creepy and you kept the suspense going really well. I felt the urgency of them being hunted and could picture the swamp and everything perfectly. The Shadows are really creepy and mysterious, which is exactly what I like when I read monster stories :) I really liked your characters too. Even though it's just a short story, I feel like I got to know them and their individual personalities. I think you could go much farther with this idea. I know I would like to read more!
ReplyDeleteIt's not showing that I replied to this, which I'm positive I did. :/
DeleteThank you so much for the sweet words! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I really hope to one day come back to this idea, I love the potential with it and I already like the characters, even though they were whipped up so quickly.
again, thank you so much! It's so nice hearing such encouraging words from fellow writers. :)
That's what we're here for :) Isn't it funny how some characters you just throw into a short story can have such an impact on you? I know I've done that with minor characters and they end up taking over a story :P
ReplyDeleteIt is! Haha, oh, I have a few characters that showed up maybe two or three times in my story, but somehow have shoved their way to the front and center. :P
DeleteThis was good! Dystopian isn't a genre I often read, but I'm certainly left wondering what happens next :) And what are the Shadows; and how did they come to be? I'm probably quite wrong, but what I wondered is if when they take children they make them Shadows too.
ReplyDeleteAbigail Leskey
Thanks, Abigail!
DeleteHonestly, I'm not quite sure about all of that myself at this point. I haven't really delved *too* deeply into all of this because I'm busy with another story, I'm afraid. Though I am definitely planning on coming back and figuring it all out in the future. :)
The idea about them turning the children into Shadows is a thought that crossed my mind, so at this point lets say that's what happens. :)