Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Voices Beneath: Chapter Twenty-Seven-- Love and Hate


Well, I ended up getting this chapter up this week anyway, because I'm not going to be able to finish the Halloween story in time after all. I just don't have time to work on it with the other projects I'm working on (Plus finishing up my reading for this month) and with NaNoWriMo starting next week, I don't want to rush through any writing right now. So enjoy the next chapter of The Voices Beneath instead.

Warning: Moderately violent violence.

Previous Chapter
Read First Chapter

Read on Wattpad 




chapter twenty-seven
love and hate


I had never been in a battle before, and I had no idea what it would be like. Certainly, the press, the noise, and the tension that was almost tangible in the air were far more than I had ever expected. I could hardly get my breath, and I only wanted to drop the sword and stop, no matter that I might be killed, but I could not. I was not in control of my body. I seemed to be moving as a puppet, Morgan la Fay’s puppet, as I strode across the field, pulled by an invisible force. It had never been this fierce before. I remembered the first time I realized something was wrong, when I had fought Arthur at my knighting ceremony and found out what the curse actually entailed. This was twenty times as powerful as that and every time since had been, and I doubted even Merlin could stop me now.
            I cursed Morgan inwardly and outwardly and shouted it for anyone who could hear, even though no one was listening to me. The two armies had met, and I could hear the sounds of sword on sword, metal clashing and screeching together, and the screams of the wounded and dying. But I could not be bothered with this. I pushed forward, avoiding the other fighters, seeming to be charmed in my advance for no one tried to attack me. I was a shadow. I had crossed through Morgan’s army and was somehow into Arthur’s. I saw several of the knights, my former comrades, holding off Morgan’s mercenaries, and wondered where Gawain and Percival and the others who were my dear companions were. Perhaps I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want them to see my betrayal of everyone that I had professed to love dearly. I only hoped that if I killed Arthur one of them would have the mercy to do me in if Merlin didn’t first, or if I didn’t decide to fall on my own sword.
            It was then that I saw him. He was mounted on his war horse, in the thick of the battle, because of course he would be leading his men from the front, unlike Morgan who would do her wicked deeds from the back. I stopped upon seeing him initially, he was so majestic and fierce I knew that I wanted to fight beside him, would have given anything for that chance. He had still been the only father I had ever known, no matter what had come between us. But my body would not obey these thoughts. The sword in my hand tugged me forward once more, thirsty, and I knew it would not be stopped until it was sated with his blood.
            The knights, the closest of Arthur’s court, his round-tablemen, stood around him, fighting to hold off the enemy from their king and brother. I saw Merlin there too, fighting with sword and magic both, and then Arthur, with his great sword, turned and spotted me standing there and we stared at each other, gauging what the other was thinking.
            “Arthur,” I said softly but he seemed to hear me, even though I knew the sound couldn’t have traveled over the fighting. Run, please run I pleaded, but Arthur didn’t. In fact, he dropped from his horse, handing the reins to a knight and came to me.
            I tried to back away, to force myself to run if he would not, but my feet were planted. We were out on a knoll above the fighting. There were no men here, and they didn’t seem to notice that their king had gone from the fray. Rain started to fall from the grey sky, and it dripped onto my head and shoulders, sinking into my mail, and it clinked off Arthur’s armor as he drew nearer. His sword was bloody in his hand, but he did not hold it threateningly. He didn’t know. How could he not know? Why did Merlin not tell him?
            “Mordred,” he said, stopping several feet from me.
            My sword tugged in my hand. I fought with everything I had not to let it move. It would not drink today, not of Arthur’s blood. I clenched my jaw, my knuckles white against the sword hilt and cursed Morgan over and over again, thinking of the many ways I could tear her to pieces.
            “Arthur,” I ground out from between my clenched teeth. “Leave.”
            He frowned. “Why are you here? Are you with Morgan?”
            I didn’t say anything, the pull was nearly too much and I staggered forward a step. Now my whole body was thirsting for the fight, everything but my mind. Morgan would have made certain to keep that my own, so that I could watch Arthur die under my hands as my punishment for refusing her. I imagined wrapping my hands around her throat and watching the life seep out of her eyes.
            “Go now,” I growled, straining to keep myself at bay. “Leave!”
            Arthur looked angry now, but there was an underlying pain in his eyes. “I did not want to send you away, Mordred. But you understand why I had to. It hurt me to my very soul. You must understand that. You did not need to go to Morgan. Please. Come back, Mordred. We can try again.”
            “I can’t!” I shouted, the cry hoarse in my throat. “I don’t want to hurt you, Arthur!”
            “You don’t have to,” he said, raising his free hand slightly, a sad smile forming on his face. “Come with us, and you can leave Morgan.”
            Morgan la Fay. I wanted my sword to plunge under her ribs and stab the black heart in her chest—if she even had a heart to stab. I lurched forward before I could stop myself. “No, please go!”
            “Mordred, stop!” Merlin’s shout came up the knoll as he finally realized what was happening. I choked on a relieved sob, knowing it would be over soon. Merlin would kill me and everything would be done…
            “Merlin, I’ve been waiting a long time for this.”
            And with that everything fell apart. Morgan appeared behind him and with a spell, threw him several yards across the wet grass. And that was when I knew that everything was lost. All my concentration fell into pieces and I ran at Arthur with an anguished cry as I raised my sword. He was shocked as he brought up his own to block the blow.
            “Mordred, what are you doing?” he asked.
            “I can’t stop,” I cried out and swiped a devastating blow at his head, forcing him to duck.
            “Mordred, whatever she threatened you with, you don’t have to worry. I’ll protect you from her,” Arthur said breathlessly as he blocked another blow but not before gaining a slice across his unprotected thigh.
            “No,” I gasped out, thrusting at him and nearly falling to my knees from the lunge. I heard Morgan scream and felt a small surge in her hold on me but then it only seemed to come back twice as strong, and I was on my feet and trading feverish blows with Arthur, pressing him backward more and more furiously. I had never fought like this in my life. I didn’t even know I was capable of it.
            Arthur tripped over a stone and fell, bringing up his sword only just in time to knock mine away as I stabbed downward to his chest.
            “Mordred, I know this isn’t you,” Arthur said, sounding more as if he were reassuring himself than me. “Please, I know you don’t want to do this. Just tell me what she threatened you with.”
            “I can’t,” I sobbed, and I realized I was sobbing. Tears were mixing with the rain streaming down my face now. “I can’t stop. I’m cursed.”
            He threw me backwards and I fell, landing on my backside as I skidded across the ground, but still managed to somehow not drop the accursed sword. It was as if the weapon was fused into my palm.
            “What do you mean?” he asked breathlessly, wiping blood from a cut across his brow.
            “She cursed me to kill you,” I whispered before I felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside. I screamed, and looked over briefly to see Merlin curled on the ground with Morgan standing over him, her gaze settled on me, causing the pain with a powerful spell. I screamed a curse at her, but then Merlin was up and distracting her again and I was once more forced to my feet, advancing on Arthur.
            “Kill me,” I told him. “Just strike me down, because I will kill you, Arthur, I can’t stop it!”
            He didn’t say anything, but he fought on. I stabbed him in the shoulder though his armor protected him for the most part, and then finally kicked the sword from his hand. He fell on his back with a grunt, and grabbed a dagger from the back of his belt. I stabbed at him with my sword, but he kicked up toward my wrist and I was forced to let go as a sickening crack was heard and numbness went up my arm. I screamed, knowing my wrist was broken. I still couldn’t stop though; I reached for my own dagger and went after Arthur again. He was on his feet now, panting and drenched in blood and rain and covered in mud and grass.
            Morgan screamed again, and then Merlin cried out but I couldn’t look back to see what was happening. I stopped, staring at Arthur, both of us clutching daggers now. I could still feel the pull but it seemed to be keeping me still for the moment.
            “Do it, Mordred!” Morgan’s voice came and I looked over to see her holding Merlin up by the front of his tunic. The sorcerer looked the worse for wear, and I feared this might be it for all of us. “Kill him!”
            I stepped toward Arthur. Then took another step and another. “No. I told you I would not. I will kill you before that.”
            Morgan laughed, throwing Merlin away from her. “You are weak, Mordred. You can never beat me.”
            “Mordred,” Merlin croaked out, dragging himself to his feet again. “You must not hate. Remember what I told you.”
            But Morgan had taken hold of me again and I was only a few feet from Arthur. I couldn’t stop myself. I knew I couldn’t. I went toward him, my dagger raised, tears streaming down my cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
            Arthur wasn’t going to stop me. I saw it in his face, and I knew I had to stop myself. He still had his dagger held in front of him, and as I was compelled to stab my dagger into his chest, I exerted every last energy I had, not cursing Morgan this time, but looking into Arthur’s face instead as I threw myself against his dagger.
            “No!” he shouted as he realized what I was doing, but it was too late. The dagger took me in the belly and I grabbed his wrist that held it, pulling it back out of me. Arthur looked at me in horror and crushed me in his arms. The hand I held my dagger in was above his shoulder. I could feel the pull of it drawing the blade to his back, ready to stab him in the heart, but I wouldn’t let it. I screamed a wordless battle cry, knowing I couldn’t let her defeat me now. Not now after I had made it this far. I didn’t think of Morgan at all. I just felt Arthur’s arms around me, buried my face in his neck, and thought of everything he had done for me. Taking me in, and calling me son.
            I felt as if I were coming up through water. I gasped at the sudden clarity, and my hand finally opened, the dagger falling out to land with a squelch in the wet ground. Pain shot through me. I hadn’t felt it before, but now I collapsed against Arthur and he went to his knees with me, as Morgan screamed in rage.
            “No!” she screamed. “No!”
            Merlin came up behind her and didn’t bother to use magic this time. His lips twisted in disgust as he put his hands on either side of her head and broke her neck with a quick, efficient jerk. She slumped lifeless at his feet, her scream cut off, and everything seemed to eek out of me. I could barely keep my eyes open.
            “Mordred, stay with me,” Arthur pleaded, pushing the wet hair from my face. I clutched at his tunic with my good hand.
            “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
            “Mordred!” Merlin’s voice was heard and I felt him skid to his knees on my other side, his hands fumbling with my tunic. Ripping it open, and forcing my chain mail up to reveal the wound. “You bloody idiot!”
            I cried out as he pressed a hand over my wound, muttering something that I wasn’t sure was a spell or a curse. Arthur pulled me closer and I clutched at him tighter as I felt myself slipping. I didn’t want to go now. Not when everything was okay again. Tears slid down my cheeks. It wasn’t fair.
            “Merlin, is there nothing you can do?”
            “Not out here, blast it all,” Merlin ground out, his voice fading. “He needs to be warm and in a bed, we’ll patch him as well as we can and get him out of here.”
            I somehow managed to open my eyes a crack to see Arthur leaning over me, his hand on my cheek. “Stay with me,” was all he said.
            I reached up to grab his hand but don’t even know if I made it there because the darkness took me and that was all I knew.

©Copyright 2014 by Hazel B West

Read Next Chapter


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The Voices Beneath: Chapter Twenty-Six-- Evil's Embrace


 Here's the next chapter! We're getting really close to the end now. I'm not sure if I'll be posting the next chapter of The Voices Beneath next week, however, as I really want to post a scary story for Halloween. If I get it done, that will be the post for next week, but if not, then we'll be back with Mordred.

Warning: Morgan is creepy, sorry.






chapter twenty-six
evils embrace


“Mordred, you must wake now.”
            I started from my stupor into unfamiliar surroundings, trying to take everything in at once and also remember what had happened prior. My head ached, and I recalled the fight I’d had at the inn but had no recollection of how I was where I was now, which seemed to be a tent of some sort.
            I tried to reach up a hand to feel the wound on my head, but found I could not move it. I was bound hand and foot, my arms wrenched painfully behind me and my hands numb from being tied so long. A hand descended to my hair and stroked it back from my face, brushing lightly over the bruise on my temple.
            “Shh, you’ll be fine,” a voice whispered.
            It was a soothing gesture, but as soon as I heard the voice shivers went down my spine. I struggled around until I was looking upward and saw Morgan la Fay smiling down at me. My head was resting in her lap and I seemed to be lying on a cot in the tent; likely hers judging from the elegance of it. I struggled to get away, but she swiftly grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head down against her thigh again, causing me to wince.
            “Let go of me,” I growled at her as she tutted before resuming the petting motion through my hair.
            “Hush, Mordred, that is no way to treat me. I have saved you twice now. Once when you were a child, and now I have saved you from Merlin. You should thank me, not try to run away.”
            “I didn’t need saving from Merlin,” I told her firmly.
            “But did he not want you for his own purposes, laboring under some delusion that you might be able to aid in defeating me?” She laughed, that loud, wry guffaw that made goose pimples fly up the back of my neck. “As if you would ever do that.” She slid her hand down to my chin and turned my face upward to look at her. I shuddered in disgust as she traced a finger over my jaw. “You would never do that, would you, Mordred?”
            “I think you are the one laboring under delusions,” I told her with a sneer. “If you think I would ever do anything for you after all you have done to me, everything you ruined, then you are mad, Morgan.”
            She sighed and shifted on the cot, pushing me to one side so she could stand up. I breathed a sigh of relief, hating the close proximity. I pulled myself with some difficulty into a sitting position so I could face her. She paced back and forth across the tent.
            “Why did you bring me here?” I asked. “I know you’re too smart to think that I would ever help you.”
            She smiled, stopping to come back over to me. “Mordred, I don’t think you realize just how important a piece of this puzzle you are. As much as I wish to claim the right, you are the one destined to kill Arthur. It was written long ago.” She lunged toward me and startled me as she grabbed my arms. “Take up a sword and do your duty, Mordred! It will happen anyway, whether you want it to or not, so you may as well do it for me. Did I not raise you?”
            She touched my face but I jerked away. “You tortured and twisted me out of your own anger, and then, like a coward, you cursed me to take revenge that was only ever yours. Not mine. How can you ever expect me to take up a sword for you and murder the man who took me in and truly cared for me when I had no one?”
            She slapped me across the face, her nails leaving bloody tracks on my cheek. She grabbed my chin and pulled it back around, her face only inches from mine.
            “You ungrateful cur,” she hissed. “I should have left you on the streets to starve.”
            “Sometimes I wish you had,” I said darkly. She stepped back and threw me to the floor of the tent.
            “It changes nothing whether you agree to fight with me or not,” Morgan said, shoving me onto my back with her heel on my chest. “We go to war tomorrow, and Arthur will die as will Merlin and you and all of the others who love him. And then I will take his kingdom and burn that sniveling quim he calls a queen and rule in my rightful place.” She knelt over me and placed her hand over my heart. Her face was full of a dark, fearful beauty as she spoke several words and I felt something akin to fire only hotter scorch through my veins and rip a scream from my throat.
            I must have blacked out because when I woke I was lying in a ball on the floor, my hands and feet untied. I scrambled to my feet, stumbling several times and looked over to see Morgan la Fay lounging on her cot, smiling at me.
            “What did you do to me now?” I demanded, hands fisting at my sides, my body feeling weak and wrung out.
            “I just reminded you of a few things, Mordred,” she said, getting off the cot and standing in front of me. “Just refreshed the curse a bit. It will be easier for you now, my dear. Tomorrow you will go out and kill Arthur and you won’t even have to think about it. You just let your body do the work, and then it will all be over.”
            “No,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I will not do it. I will fight.”
            “No, Mordred, you will not,” Morgan said with such surety, I felt a cold stone settle in my belly. I shuddered as she brought her hands up to cup my face, trailing her fingers down my jaw. “No. It is done now. You would not make a decision so I had to make it for you. It will be easier this way, I promise. You will not have to hesitate, it will simply be over. And afterward, I will still have a spot beside me in Camelot for you, and we can rule together as it is meant to be.”
            “Never,” I spat, still trembling. “It was never meant to be that way.”
            She gave a small sigh. “You’ll take it, Mordred. If you survive, it will be the only thing you will have left. I will be the only thing you have left.” She pulled me forward and her lips brushed against mine for only an instant before I pulled away in horrified disgust, shoving her back so that she nearly fell on the ground.
            “I want this to be clear, Morgan,” I told her in a cold, dangerous voice, trying to keep it from shaking. “No matter what happens tomorrow, no matters what comes of it, I will never go with you, and I will never stop hating you. It is now my sworn duty to see that you are dead by sunset tomorrow, and if Merlin doesn’t do it first, then by the saints, I will.”
            She snarled, and clenched her hands at her sides. “I will not make the offer again.”
            “I won’t ask you to.”
            She went to the door of the tent and called for guards. One came in and chained me at her command, and I sat manacled to one of the tent polls. Morgan glared down at me before she spoke a word and that familiar pain lanced through my chest. I was barely winded when it subsided and made sure she knew it, which resulted in her backhanding my face again. I ignored her and she turned to leave the tent, anger coursing through her taught frame.
            “Morgan,” I called after her and she stopped without turning around.
            “You’re the one who is going to have to watch your back out there.”
            “Don’t be so sure of that, Mordred,” she said calmly and left the tent.
            As soon as she was gone, all my bravado seemed to fade and I slumped against the tent post, knowing in my heart that I was going to kill Arthur tomorrow.
***
The sun rose on Camlann. It was a desolate field, and the day dawned cloudy and threatened rain. I had been taken from the tent to stand at Morgan la Fay’s side as the men formed ranks and gathered opposite the other army on the plain. I looked to see Arthur across the way. It was too far to see details, but I knew where he would be, and I wished nothing more than to be there with him, in fact, I felt a pull towards him, but I knew that it was not from my wanting, but from my curse, and that if I was there, he would be dead by my sword.
            Morgan was sitting on a horse, and she looked down at me, her hand resting on my shoulder before I shrugged it off.
            “It is almost time, Mordred. Are you ready?”
            I was still shackled, but I knew I wouldn’t be much longer. I liked the shackles; they kept me grounded. Kept me from grabbing a sword and slaying my king, my father. I turned to her slowly and gave her a smile. “I’m ready to see you die.”
            She ignored me and turned to the man standing on her other side, the captain of her army. “No more waiting around. We will end this now.”
            In only another minute the call for charge was sounded out and then the sudden rush and noise of battle washed over me like a wave.
            And then, to my horror, I felt my shackles loosen and fall off my hands and Morgan la Fay took my right wrist and pushed a sword into my palm, my hand curling around it against my will.
            “It is time,” she said with a cruelly satisfied smile spreading across her lips as my heart filled with terror. “Kill him.”

©Copyright 2014 by Hazel B West

Read Next Chapter


Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The Voices Beneath: Chapter Twenty-Five-- Dark Clouds Gathering

Here we are, The Voices Beneath is officially back from summer hiatus! I apologize for the delay, but I didn't want to just throw up chapters every week that weren't very good and I think it was better that I took my time on the end of the story. I hope you all enjoy it as previously.

Previous Chapter
Read First Chapter

Read on Wattpad



chapter twenty-five
dark clouds gathering


I continued to travel with no real destination for another week. I had decided that if my fate was so far entwined within the inner workings of the universe as everyone seemed to claim, then it would make little difference where I went because it was likely that I would end up where I needed to be at the proper time and nothing was going to stop it from happening.
            And if not, well, I wasn’t going to be too upset about it.
            Rumors of war turned into more than rumors. Every town I went through had an edgy quality shown through the manners of the people, watching me and any newcomer with suspicion bred of fear and distrust. I did little to dissuade them of those thoughts. I was hardly the sweet-faced boy I once was. I had not looked into a mirror recently, but I knew I would be harder—colder.
            When I stopped for the night at inns along the way, I always listened to the news without adding any input myself. There were stories of Arthur amassing his army and gathering as many men as he could. But there were other tales about Morgan la Fay, the great sorceress, and how her armies seemed to grow every day with mercenaries, or, perhaps with men forced to fight for her under a spell she had enchanted them with as some of the gossip said. I didn’t think she needed it, myself. I knew she was quite convincing enough without her enchantments, especially when one didn’t know her. There was also talk of whether Merlin would fight her and if he would win. Some seemed to think she was stronger than him now, and I disagreed on that point. I knew Merlin, though perhaps more humble, was by far the greater sorcerer. He had already escaped Morgan once, and I knew that without being on her ground and without giving her a chance to set traps, he would be able to take her down quickly. At least, that was my hope.
            Whether the rumors were true or not, and I thought that most were likely embellishments at best, there was war coming, and it was coming soon. I also knew that Morgan’s army would outnumber Arthur’s. By how many, who could say, but I was certain of it. That was just how she played. She would not go into battle unless she had a good chance at victory. A wave of guilt washed over me, thinking that I had deserted Arthur at the time he needed every loyal knight the most. But I was hardly loyal, was I? And I hadn’t exactly deserted them either. I was still unsure of what I was going to do about the coming battle. I only knew that I couldn’t get anywhere near Arthur because I would not kill him, not after all this.
            Then one night, I was staying at an inn, a poor one, as usual. The talk was that the two armies were amassing nearby, though no one was certain where. I might not have paid any heed to it, but I had seen several men in the town earlier who I thought were Morgan’s. I didn’t rightly know what I felt about this information, thinking it was so near. I think I was trying to feel nothing, but inside my heart stuttered for fear of what would happen to my friends—my family—without me there to help or to share in their fate if the worst befell.
            I was staring into my ale cup in deep contemplation, so I started when a hooded figure sat on the other side of my table. I gripped my dagger and shoved it threateningly into the stranger’s face when a dry chuckle sounded from the shadows of the hood and a slim hand moved up to push it back, revealing none other than Merlin himself.
            “Merlin,” I breathed, so flabbergasted at the revelation that I could hardly speak or do more than stare.
            He nodded, his usual droll look dulled only slightly by the obvious weariness from stress and anxiety that could be seen clearly in the lines of his face. “Hello Mordred.”
            “What are you doing here?” I asked, still dumbstruck.
            “I came to find you, of course,” Merlin said obviously as if I were slow.
            “Why?” was all I could ask.
            Merlin rolled his eyes. “You have certainly gotten wiser since you left,” he said sarcastically, before he sighed and grabbed my tankard, downing it in one go, as I watched with indignation. He slammed it down on the table and leaned across, speaking in a low voice so as not to be overheard. “In case you haven’t heard the news, Mordred, there is a war on the brink of starting. And I mean only days away, possibly even hours. We’re amassing at Camlann only a few miles from here. Morgan bloody la Fay outnumbers us at least three to one, if she hasn’t found more friends to fight for her since I last got a head count, and more and more Arthur seems to think this will be a doomed battle. He’s begun losing hope of winning at all, and it hasn’t even started yet. I cannot allow him to lose hope. If his people see that he has then it will all be over before it has begun.”
            I swallowed hard, my stomach knotting at the thought of Arthur giving up. “Why are you telling me this?” I asked quietly, trying not to let my emotions show on my face.
            “You have a decision to make, Mordred,” Merlin said firmly. “It could very well depend on the outcome of the battle.”
            “Why?” I asked, slamming my hand down on the table. “Merlin, I can’t join you. You know that if I get within a hundred yards of Arthur I might try and kill him. And what other choice is there? Joining Morgan?”
            “You won’t do that, will you?” Merlin asked sharply, his eyes flashing.
            “No! By the saints, Merlin, no!” I cried, causing several heads to turn toward us before Merlin gave them a look that instantly made them decide that wasn’t a wise idea. “I can’t do this and you know it. I don’t even understand what you think I can accomplish.”
            “Nor do I,” Merlin told me earnestly. “I only know that the instant I saw you I knew you were important. And at first I thought that might be a bad thing, that you might be bent on Arthur’s ruin, but I don’t think that anymore. Not after everything I have seen you go through. Seen you overcome.” He reached across the table and gripped my forearm tightly. “Mordred, I feel that you may be the key to Morgan’s destruction, not Arthur’s, and if that is true, I cannot let you walk away from this. I told you before that I would do anything for Arthur. I love him like my brother, and I know you love as much as I do, so you must help us, Mordred, if it’s at all possible. You cannot let me go back to Guinevere and tell her that her husband is dead. Please, whether you wish to believe in fate and destiny or not—and maybe you’re right, and it has nothing to do with it, that it’s all free will after all—then I beg you, if you love Arthur, come.”
            I was silent, shaking my head, my throat tightening. “Merlin, I can’t.”
            He gripped both my arms now, hard, bruising, the desperation clear on his face. “Mordred, you must not abandon him. Do you wish him to die?”
            Tears welled in my eyes though I fought so hard for them not to. I finally looked up at Merlin and shook my head. “It is better that he die by anyone’s hand but my own,” I choked out. “I will not be the one to kill him.”
            “You will if you don’t help us!” Merlin hissed, dangerous.
            “I can’t.”
            He stood up, rage flooding his features, and he threw the table aside as if it were nothing, gripping me by the tunic, and hauled me to my feet before he threw me against the wall. My back hit hard, and I could not catch my breath before he was in my face, his eyes flashing with more than just anger. I don’t think I had ever been so frightened of someone in my life.
            “I took you for many things, Mordred,” he hissed in disgust. “But never once for a coward.”
            “Call me what you will,” I choked out. “I won’t be the death of him. He’s the only father I ever had.”
            “Then save him, damn you!” Merlin pleaded, shoving me back against the wall again.
            I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I couldn’t say no to that, but I knew I couldn’t do what Merlin asked of me either. I knew he would not be able to stop me if the spell took me over and forced me to kill Arthur. He waited a few seconds for my reply, then sneered in my face and brought his fist across my jaw. It was hard, and I blacked out for a moment, coming to on the floor as I watched him walk away. Everyone in the tavern had been watching with bated breath and they were all staring at me as I hauled myself to my feet. I felt blood trickling from my nose and I wiped it off on my sleeve before I went to pay for my meal and left for my room, with the eyes still following me.
            I lay in the uncomfortable bed for a long time. I could not sleep. My soul ached as much as it had when Arthur threw me out, all the old wounds reopened. What was I to do? I wanted nothing more than to help him. If I were certain I could only be of help then I would run to his side in an instant, whether he would take me back or not; but though I trusted Merlin, I was not willing to take that chance. Arthur dying was hard enough to think of, but Arthur dying by my hand was so much worse. I knew I was a coward, but I could not let that happen.
            I don’t know if I really slept or if I had just fallen into a stupor for a moment, but I was startled by a creak, a sound I knew to be the door of my room opening. It was far too stealthy to be a drunk lost on his way to bed, and I was just reaching for the dagger under my pillow when a figure surged toward me. I rolled over, raising my dagger in time to stop the small club coming down at my head. I could not see my attacker, but he fell on top of me as I scrambled backwards off the bed. He grunted upon landing and we grappled. I sliced him with my knife across the thigh, but he grabbed my wrist and slammed it against the side of the bed, causing it to numb and the dagger to slip through my nerveless fingers. He slammed a fist into my face and I was stunned enough for him to sit up and grab his club. I only saw a blurry vision of it coming toward me and then a burst of pain before there was nothing.

©Copyright 2014 by Hazel B West